The Bachelorette Season 13 Episode 1 recap:

So Monday evening The Bachelorette Season 13 premiered with Rachel Lindsay, the first ever black Bachelorette or Bachelor. She is also the oldest ever Bachelorette. Rachel we saw on Nick Viall’s season of the Bachelor, which I should have blogged about because I had a lot of opinions about his season.

The show starts following Rachel around, showing her at work as a prosecuting attorney, a few older ladies tell her not to sleep with all of them, she says she won’t sleep with any of them and they hug, kinda cute.

The guys this season are for the most part really hot. Especially the black guys… No offense to Grant (Jojo’s season) but I wasn’t really attracted to him. It makes one wonder where all these guys were hiding? Did ABC not cast them to try to rebuff pressure to feature a black bachelor or bachelorette? Did they not try out because they didn’t want to get rejected and now they feel like they actually have a shot with Rachel being the first POC as the series lead? I don’t know, but I do know that Rachel has one of the best selections I’ve ever seen. And good for her, she is one of the most accomplished leads we’ve seen and deserves an amazing guy, not some fuckboy.

My Final Four Predictions:

Okay, my predictions for top four are Josiah, DeMario, Peter and Bryan…

Bryan:

Bryan (third out of the limo) is a hot 37-year-old chiropractor so he’s “good with his hands” (his words). He’s old enough to be serious but Bryan reminds me of Josh (Andee’s season) and that makes me not like him. I didn’t watch Andee’s season, but I did read Andee’s book and I don’t love what she said about him. I did, however, watch Bachelor in Paradise Season 3 and saw him in action there where my suspicions were confirmed and he was a douche. Bryan gives me a deep gut feeling that he is DANGER. If I were her I would send him packing, he probably has an STD the way he grabbed her and kissed her so fast (he’s a slut) and I just don’t like overly confident guys… they make me really uneasy. The kiss worked though and Bryan got the First Impression Rose… Rachel, girl you’re in trouble. (He actually said, “Girl, you’re in trouble.” to her in front of the mansion.)

Peter:

Peter was the first out of the Limo and got the first rose of the ceremony. His presence out of the limo seemed to instantly calm her nerves and he’s also from Wisconsin (like Nick) so maybe she likes those mid-western boys. Peter didn’t use any cheesy pickup lines, just told her she looked beautiful and was nervous in a cute and normal way. They seemed to have an instant connection and would have really cute gap-toothed babies. I also LOVED his suit. Peter is my favorite so far and who I hope wins.

Josiah:

Josiah (second out of the limo) is potentially my pick for the next Bachelor. I LOVE his emphasis on family, his story is heartbreaking and not the best thing for me to watch on my “emotional week”. I don’t mean to sound crass, and I’m not “Colorblind” (let’s be real here) but there are a few things here that I believe are key. First, He’s fully black, not mixed race so that’s important to ABC because I think they would have a lot of blacklash (is that a term?) if their first (and second) POC lead was mixed / half white…  Also, he is a lawyer just like Rachel, he’s well spoken, good looking, and his suit was FIRE. This man has style, BEST DRESSED for sure (sorry Milton). He also made a legal pun which made her laugh and was just too cute.

The next point though is that his brother hung himself after being bullied for being overweight. Could ABC find someone better to capitalize on? (sorry crass and insensitive but it’s the media we’re talking about here.) Suicide from bullying, for being overweight… who does that not strike a chord with at this time in history? He then looked to the streets for an older brother figure and was arrested for burglary at 12 years old. (Bravo to ABC for showing this and not trying to make him “squeaky clean”) The arresting officer gave him a second chance and inspired him to become a defense attorney. He’s now working in the same State Attorney’s office making a difference in his community. This whole moment in the show made me cry and really root for Josiah. He took something tragic and instead of letting it ruin him, showed the power of positive attitude, hard work, education, and now gives back to his community. SLAM DUNK for EVERYONE! WOOO I love this guy and if Rachel doesn’t pick him ABC would be stupid not to.

DeMario:

DeMario was one of the guys who met her at After the Final Rose. When they first met he showed up with plane tickets to Vegas for them to elope. Raven made a good point that he is a man who knows what he wants, and that’s attractive. He’s also, in my opinion, one of the most attractive guys on the show. He could use a teeth whitener but that’s super easy and I’m sure his IG will be advertising one shortly with  #sponsored in the caption. #Bachelorcastoffcareer. Either way, he seemed excited that she remembered him and that’s so innocent and sweet. He seems like he really likes her so I was a little surprised when Raven said she heard through the grapevine that his intentions may not be pure. (We also heard this about Jordan on Jojo’s season and they are still happy on Instagram so we’ll see.)

Honorable mentions:

Kenny: A single dad who loves his 10-year-old daughter. A professional wrestler which is a little… uh, cheesy and he could use a new tie but his connection with Rachel seems genuine and I like his energy.

Fred: He’s also very hot but she seems very uneasy about him. Apparently, she was his camp counselor so not only is she older but she held a position of authority over him. I hope she can shake the memory of him as a “bad kid” and explore what is there because I always like childhood sweetheart stories.

Matt: Who dressed as a penguin. I like that he did the research to know she likes penguins and that they mate for life. It’s also a pun because “Penguin suit” is a term referring to a tuxedo. On top of that, Rachel makes a race joke on their one-on-one time together which I loved, “It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white”… he responds quickly with “I’m black and white”. I like him and I’m interested to see how far he makes it, although (hard to tell in the costume) he’s not one of the hottest guys on the show and is losing his hair.

The Rose Ceremony:

Anyway, Rachel seems to like black guys and white guys but sent the hottie tall Asian dude (Blake K) and the way too drunk Indian guy (Mohit) home the first night. For some unforsaken reason, she kept Lucas “Wahboom” guy as well as Adam the guy who brought a doll. I thought he was a ventriloquist which would have been bad enough but no, he just brought a doll. I would have sent him home for that alone. Also, he dressed it in a suit.. like really? How much money did you spend on a suit for that creepy fucking doll? I LITERALLY CANNOT EVEN.

Also, ABC what the fuck are you doing with close up shots and a storyline for a doll… I was SUPER uncomfortable… is that to make those who are uncomfortable with interracial dating even more uncomfortable seeing this creepy doll? To have them reevaluate what should make them uncomfortable? It’s an odd strategy, I have to say… but okay.

Thankfully she sent Milton home, he was not there for love, he wanted to show off his outfits, and CRIED about it… He also said he was on the show to be discovered… what a fucktard, boy, bye!

She also kept Lee who showed up with the guitar. I normally hate a guitar guy, but I liked the song. He was kind of ignored the rest of the episode but after the episode, they showed the season preview and it’s revealed that he is the shit stirrer which I don’t like.

I hate that she kept Alex, he showed up with a vacuum and his bio was annoying. I literally rolled my eyes.

Dean is annoying the crap out of me. He’s the one who said “I’m going black and never going back” when he met her at After the Final Rose, she made him feel okay about it but it was super cringeworthy. Also, when he accepted his rose he was like, “Can anyone ever say no to you?” and it’s like… uh yeah, we all just watched her get rejected on national television! DUMBASS. I keep thinking his next girlfriend is going to be white and will forever tease him about “never going back” …what a moron.

Blake E met her on After the Final Rose and came off super awkward mentioning she smelled good. Then his pre-recorded intro he made me super uncomfortable talking about sex and his penis, it’s like, dude, chill. I don’t need a visual, I watch this show to cry and laugh, not to think about your penis. I do however like that he challenged Lucas about his intentions… “I’m not wearing my catchphrase on a shirt” I kind of wanted to hi-five him for that but then remembered his penis talk and would have to wipe the hi-five off my hand. Maybe he conflicts me because he reminds me of my ex a little. We’ll see.

In the preview it is revealed that someone still has a girlfriend, Kenny get’s punched in the face, and Rachel faces some judgments and adversity. I hope the best for her and I’m so excited to watch this season!!

Thanks for reading!!

With love from Florida,
Kier